Effective Communication Techniques

Communication requires cultivation of techniques and is not something that comes naturally. The primary reason relationships fail is poor communication, which leads to massive misunderstanding.

Five Conditions for Effective Communication

  1. Desire – You must want to be effective with a consuming passion. Love for coaching and teaching should drive you to desire excellence.
  1. Understand the process of communication – The three aspects of communication must be understood: words, imagery and gestures, plus receiving data back from listeners. This involves dealing with needs, emotions, feelings, and realities, which are serious issues requiring careful attention.
  1. Master the basics – Three basic skills are essential:
  • Connecting with the listeners
  • Conveying information in ways they can understand it
  • Checking responses through body language and interest levels
  1. Dedication to Practice – You won't excel immediately; improvement comes through consistent effort over time.
  1. Patience and Persistence – Self-evaluation is critically important as you improve gradually through persistent practice.

How to Get People to Pay Attention

The first law of communication is audience attention. Agile communicators must draw people's focus to the life-changing effects of being agile, not to themselves.

Three Techniques for Getting and Keeping Attention

  1. Pay attention to others and they will pay attention to you – Work the crowd by being present at the right place and time. Speak truthfully to needs, fears, and practical matters, prioritizing listeners over your message.
  1. Overcome the stiff competition for attention – People lack personal connection despite being physically closer than ever. Many filter others out of their environments, making communication challenging.
  1. Be interesting – Build messages creatively and push beyond self-imposed limitations, as audiences come prepared with their filters activated.

Five Tactics to Improve Communication

  1. Organize your thoughts before speaking
  2. Get right to the point
  3. Translate information into benefits; people want to know "what's in it for me"
  4. Be real and transparent; personality is an asset
  5. Be enthusiastic and passionate

Communication and Relationships

Your ability to communicate effectively accounts for approximately 85% of success in life and work. Three parts comprise any conversation:

  1. Ethos – Character, credibility, believability, and rapport
  2. Pathos – Connecting with emotions through genuine connection
  3. Logos – Factual content

Three Elements of Conversation

  • 7% is words
  • 38% is tone of voice (women are more sensitive to this than men)
  • 55% is body language

People believe the dominant message conveyed through body language.

Keys to Success with People

  • Listen attentively (research shows men interrupt women 95% more than other men)
  • Pause before replying to show you're genuinely considering their words
  • Question for clarification
  • Paraphrase what they said in your own words

Influencing and Persuading People

  1. Influence is not something you decide to do; listeners decide whether they'll be persuaded. Sensitivity prevents being overbearing.
  1. Master two things: your personal character (attitude, integrity) and your professional skills.

True influence emerges first when one understands how they influence others.